Boxfresh Streetwear®

Ok,   swine flu is officially everywhere. From the mighty ChockABlock’s Joseph Patterson (all better now!) to our sweet little intern, Stefan (get well soon – and you best not be blagging mister!).  The media seems to be bombarding us with information about what NOT to do. The question is, once you have it – what CAN you do?

Here’s a look at Boxfresh’s top 10 DO’s in the event of catching swine flu.

1. EAT LOTS OF BACON

Some say this pandemic is down to pigs taking revenge on a nation of bacon butty eaters. We say, bacon is good. And it makes sense that if we take the swine out of the equation, all we will be left with is flu. No?

2.  GET ON THE JEREMY KYLE SHOW

All that free time to watch mindless daytime TV.  Let us know if by day 3 you haven’t reached the stage just after the can’t beat them bit  ie. join them!

3. SEND STUPID E-MAILS TO YOUR WORK MATES

Like this one I got the other day: “If you wake up looking like this – you probably have swine flu”

Oink

4.  WORK ON CHAT UP LINES FOR ALL THOSE HOT NURSES

So this is the one time this year you may have a chance for some nurse action. Use it well!

5.   CREATE A TWITTER ACCOUNT

The only reasonable explanation to document your life tweet by tweet. Besides,  it will challenge all those self indulgent wankers tweeting about their night at Movida or Boujis or whatever the hell you call those places where the cost of a drink is your left testicle!

6.  GET METRO/ the london paper/ LONDON LITE TO DELIVER TO YOUR DOOR

After all, they can’t expect you to take the tube to get your free daily dosage of news. Right?

7.  CALL UP BT/BRITISH GAS FOR A LAUGH

Make up some fake shit and then get irate and lodge a complaint with their manager.  Because they deserve it for all those times you have a serious concern and they feck you off.

8.   POT NOODLE CHALLENGE

Exactly how many kebab flavoured noodles can one consume before starting to smell of meat? Go on. Let us know!

9.  TEST YOUR SPEAKERS

Crank up the volume. And dare the neighbours to come and complain to your swine flu ass!

10.  YOUTUBE IT

Cos those clips of you squealing like a pig is really what makes our days worthwhile in the office. Seriously.